I saw myself through the eyes of the Lord Jesus.      Seeing my self through the eyes of Christ and the revelations that accompanied it was just the beginning of a wonderful life God had planned for me. That life is still unfolding almost 30 years later and was still very difficult until I reached about forty years old. From that miraculous experience until now Jesus has been kind enough to teach me many things. Much of what he talks to me about concerns my daily life. For example, he may indicate a friend is running late, he may urge me to change my plans, he may say “be careful” as I turn the ignition to start my truck, or – one time – he said “God bless you” when I sneezed. All in all, Jesus has been a wonderful friend.        It hasn’t always been easy. In fact, after my conversion experience life was still quite difficult. So there I was on an island in the vast Pacific Ocean with nine more months until I could go stateside. As I said, I bought a bible because I wanted to know as much about Jesus as possible. I would sit in my room and read and pray while all kinds of craziness went on all around me. One can imagine the types of clubs and other activities that were available to the thousands of military men just outside the military base. Thank God I wanted no part of that and began to grow slowly in my relationship with Jesus. Finally the nine months ended and I was reassigned to Scott AFB, Illinois.   For my last six months of duty. When I arrived I heard rumors that Scott was a “born again” base and that many here had embraced Christianity. I was told at the time that even some of the Generals were Christians indicating that this base might be a nice place to grow. And grow I did!        On one particular Sunday afternoon I had no place to go so I decided to visit the base chapel. An evangelist was giving a talk. I thought I would go to listen. The talk seemed rather typical and commonplace, nothing new or surprising. Afterwards, however, the congregation was invited to divide into three groups. Group one would ask God to forgive them of all of their wrong doing and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. Group two would dedicate their lives, talents, skills, and resources to the glory of God. Group three would pray for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Well, I thought,”I have already done one and two, I will pray for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit."  I had not even heard of it at the time but it sounded exciting enough to try. The evangelist prayed with groups one and two first. Then she came to me. She asked me to repent of anything dealing with the occult. I said I only did the Ouiji Board when I was young but that was enough for her to request a prayer of repentance which I did. Then she said, “When I place my hands on you, you will receive the Holy Spirit.” Well, I knew the Spirit was inside of me because of the infilling, deliverance and wonderful revelations I had. But, I was not about to argue with an evangelist at the altar. So, I agreed. When she placed her hands on my head my whole chest seemed to open up and power began to fill me. Again the revelations came: “This is the “Stuff” that raised Jesus from the dead, Someone filled with this could never die, This is the power that heals, The Holy Spirit is alive and filling me, He is separate and distinct from me, How wrong the disbelievers are, People filled with this ascend to heaven.” I was overjoyed – even “intoxicated” like as described in the Book of Acts. To say I was overjoyed is actually an understatement. I was euphoric! I couldn’t believe God would touch someone like me.      I went straight to my room to be alone with God and this amazing feeling I had. I lay on my bed and began to pray. Suddenly, this rapid-fire language I had never learned, studied, or heard before began to rocket out of my mouth directly to the throne of God. In it was a complaint for all of the abuse I suffered as a child. My spirit was speaking directly to Spirit and I knew without any doubt that he was listening. I had been given the baptism of the Holy Spirit and the Gift of Tongues. The generosity of God was astounding me. All because I had turned from sin and promised “to be good.” This was all just about nine months after I first found Jesus and almost 30 years ago. I have learned so much since then and have so much more to say. If you haven’t said that prayer to Jesus yet, now would be a good time to shut your eyes and say, “Yes, Jesus, do for me what you have been doing for millions of others since you first walked this earth.”       Let us pray "The Saint's Prayer":   Thank you Jesus for taking over my whole heart. Thank you Jesus for taking over my whole soul. Thank you Jesus for taking over my whole mind. Thank you Jesus for taking over my whole life. I forgive everone who ever hurt me in my life right up until this momement. Thank you for baptizing me in your Holy Spirit. Thank you for protecting me and my life in your most precious blood. Thank you now for giving me eternal life. Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen and Amen.     After my time at Scott AFB ended I decided to separate from the military to use my GI Bill to finish my degree.  I spent four years, six months on four different bases.  My time there was very difficult but by God's grace it all worked out well.  As the Scriptures say, "all things work out to the good for those who love God."      My time back in my parent's house was one of healing.  Both parents accepted that fact that I was now excited about Jesus and that he was now the center of my life.  Nothing happened in a few days or weeks but within a few years I saw them both answer an altar call and confess Jesus as Lord of both heaven and earth.  I thought, "Now Lord you can let your servant go in peace for my eyes have seen the salvation of the Lord!"  I was so pleasantly surprised to see them step out for Jesus.      In my own life I continued to learn.  Between church, bible studies, prayer meetings, youth groups and everything else my life was immersed in God.  It was a very happy time for me.  One of the most unique experience I had in those days came after a Saturday night service.  It was the Christmas season and I had sung in the choir that night.  After church I stood in a circle with some of my friends and one after another I heard something like: "I'm going to a Christmas party" here or a party there and one after another they excused themselves from the group.  I felt a little sad because I had no party to go to so I decided to go to bed early that night.  While praying alone in my room I was feeling very blessed by God and decided to ask him to love everyone in the world more than me.  I reasoned at that time that if God loved everyone more than me then they would be just as blessed as I felt.  Of course, now that I'm almost fifty that prayer seems very childish but, who knows?, maybe God enjoyed it.  When I rolled over to go to sleep I had a vision of Jesus in my spirit....      Jesus is full of grace.  I saw Jesus full of grace.  When he moved, it wasn't just graceful movement.  It was Grace itself moving.  This aspect of my vision/revelation was very beautiful.  I did not see his face because he was beginning to turn away.  His hair was difficult to describe.  It was not the nice little pictures we carry in our wallets or hang on our walls.  His hair was dry and wind swept.  It was like the way your hair gets when you spend the day at the beach.  His hair was also very, very thick like he had never had it thinned out.  If you can imagine a man who had never had his hair thinned out, rarely washed [by our modern day standards] and wind swept by the hot sun, this is what Jesus' hair looked like.  It wasn't at all dirty but just looked caveman-like.  I also saw part of his beard, but like I said, he was turning away as if to say "follow me."  This vision wasn't a brief flash of a picture in my brain  like some are but rather a revelation in my spirit, slightly longer lasting, and leaving an impression on my soul.      I was awestruck by what I saw.  I said to myself, "I have seen the Lord Christ."  Why I said that precise title I still have no idea to this day.  But what I do know and have learned by this is that Jesus is Grace itself.  This revelation/teaching helped me greatly in the years to come.  From that day onward I understood that whatever Jesus decided for me was the best for me.  Whatever Jesus allowed to happen to me would become the best for me because Grace does not make mistakes.  Jesus can do no wrong.  Jesus is perfect.  As the Scriptures say, "God is light, in him there is no darkness." And again, "God is love."  Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and LIFE.  All of these scriptures have come alive for me - even more than they already were - since seeing Jesus.       You would probably think that after these wonderful experiences my life would become just peachy keen.  Not so!  At one of my prayer meetings a man –who pretended to be a prophet - told me that God wanted me to be a catholic priest.  So, I quit my job, gave away my money, said goodbye to my friends and off I went to the seminary.  I was one stupid Christian: All zeal with almost no wisdom.  It is still [more than two decades later] difficult for me to believe I was foolish enough to do that.  After months of praying for a wife, one – so called prophet – tells me God wants me to be a priest and off I go a runnin’!      Life was difficult for me before but within ten years it would become impossible.  My first seminary, for example, was a horrible experience for me.  I listened to people question Jesus’ humanity, his divinity, and anything else that could be possibly doubted or denied.  Some even questioned his sexuality stating that he was some type of androgynous being.  It was just like watching Jesus being crucified all over again.  I hated it.      My second seminary was better.  The teachings were much more reasonable and in line with Holy Scripture and the experience of the church.  I learned many good things.  Sometimes one must meditate and contemplate the good while leaving the rest behind.  This is what I did to make the most of a difficult situation.  Unfortunately for me, the thought of never being able to get married was causing a lot of havoc in my brain, heart, and soul.  Instead of feeling built up and invigorated, I became more and more empty.  I began to physically collapse.  I had been telling myself to follow Jesus with all my heart, soul, and strength but when my strength began to fail me I concluded that I was not following Jesus like I thought I was.  My instinct to survive took over.  My superiors had said, “Eddie, if you hand in these last couple of pages we’ll make you a priest.”  Instead, I went home burnt out, empty, and clinically depressed.  I could not understand what had happened to me.  I took me some time to figure out that I had swallowed a lie and that that lie had made me sick.  I had finally known some happiness between the time I returned home from the military and entered the seminary.  But that happiness was stollen through my own stupidity by the deciever.  My life really, truly sucked once again.      So, there I was after the seminary back at home with my parents.  I was almost 40 years old and had a headache that was in about its seventh year.  I was really messed up psychologically as a result of all I endured.  Spiritually I knew I was a child of God and that Jesus loved me but all the stress of trying to become something I was not took a heavy toll on me.  For a few years I really thought that I was going to lose my mind but Jesus kept on telling me that I was mentally a "giant" which gave me enough faith to believe I would get through all of this and not lose my mind after all.  But the headaches did persist for a few more years.      Gradually, gradually I became well again.  Had I known the love of Jesus as a child, my life would have been very different.  But, Jesus works with what is given to him.... one day at a time.  God  is   soooooo   good!